Was it easy?

Was it easy? I often ponder this...

Back then, when I was making the choice, the question was different.

I had a family home, and more importantly, a precious baby girl waiting for me.

It wasn't easy, I can say that... It took me more than four years to decide.

How much is too much?

Is it right for my daughter?

Will she hate me?

Am I a bad mom?

These questions haunted me.

But then I realized I couldn't survive in that suffocating atmosphere, that captivity. Physical and mental abuse.

The toxicity of my in-laws, societal judgments, and norms.

In the Indian family and culture, abuse often lingers subtly, a process, a strategy. Women fall into this trap, starting to believe the lies, and ignoring the red flags because we want the marriage to work. I was trying to keep everyone happy, not realizing when I became a people pleaser.

But nothing is more important than self-respect and dignity. I wanted to keep my daughter with me. Yet, the mistake many Indian women make is losing financial independence. This societal domestication infests even educated women like me, who were raised independently.

I don't know how many women will resonate with my words, but I need to vent my feelings. For more than three years now, I've lived alone while my daughter is with my husband. (Thank you for your judgment.) I realized I never wanted my daughter to see her mother as weak. I never wanted to teach her to stay in a marriage out of societal pressure. I want her to question everything because questioning reveals that life is so much more than a relationship with someone who devalues you. He only wanted an educated, glorified maid to boast about to his family and society.

I won't reveal anyone's identity online. That's not my intention. I wanted to remind myself that I'm strong. It wasn't easy for me. I need to be kinder to myself and stop judging myself.

It wasn't easy, Suprita... But you have survived, and you will succeed too.